Dear Honey: Curly but Conscious

I recently received an email from a fellow honey who happens to be curly yet holds concern, see below:

I wanted to see if you could cover a topic on your blog when you have time relating to honeys that have curly hair but choose to straighten it more than wearing it out natural. Because currently I'm trying to wear my hair curly more but I am still not used to it and to be honest I feel a bit self-conscious about it b/c sometimes I look at it and I do like the curls but then I feel like the hair just looks too big....just wondering if you could address how you felt when you first started wearing your hair curly and maybe some other readers will share their experiences as well. I love having the versatility that we can wear our hair curly or straight but I'd like to learn how to love and accept the curly look a bit more. I work in corporate america so I think that's another reason why I feel this way...I always felt that I looked better with the hair straight when at work. Thanks in advance!

I thought this was a great question because it has taken me over 13 years to actually get the curls that I want. My first attempt was back in high school when "Sister, Sister" was popular. I LOVED their curly hair and I wanted mine to be just like theirs. At the time, I had relaxed hair and noticed that when I washed it, it would curl up slightly. So, one summer day I went out and purchased L'Oreal's "Pumping Curl" spray (which is a big "NO-NO" for coarse hair textures). I couldn't wait to get back home and try it! I was so excited- I washed and conditioned my hair and profusely sprayed this stuff (which smelled like alcohol and was sticky) ALL over my tresses. Then I waited. Waited for it to dry. What I was left with was a frizzy mess. Not only was I self conscious about attempting to wear my hair in curls, I just didn't know what I was doing and felt that ok, maybe my hair can't do that.

I didn't attempt the curly look again until my second year in college. I had a friend who was half black and Peruvian and had the most beautiful curls I had ever seen. I would sit at the sink in the community bathroom of our dorm and watch her do her hair at the sink every other day. It was because of her that I was really determined to get the curls that I wanted and loved. When I first started, I would use L'Oreal's "Pumping Curls" gel ALONG with the spray. It worked, but would leave my hair dry and crisp!

That story was just the beginning- my journey is far from over. I'm still learning and finding different ways to style and treat my curls. After learning that I could possibly have curly hair in high school, it still took me about five more years to learn about it and be comfortable sporting my natural hair (prior to that I did braid and twist outs). One of the main reasons I started this blog was to inform others on the things that I've learned and are still learning. Something you have (that I didn't) is information, with this blog and so many more like it, there is an abundance of information out there! Use it and apply it. Most importantly, if you still feel self conscious about wearing your hair big & curly, use your Saturdays! Whenever I want to try something new and I'm not sure how it'll turn out, I use my Saturdays to experiment. Then, go to the store, hang out with some friends and/or family and see what kind of responses you get. Just doing that alone has helped me to be more creative and more assertive with my hair.

What do you guys think? Any suggestions?